


Artolatry

by Anonymous



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Angst with a Happy Ending, Deliberate Badfic, Deliberately Bad Fanart, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Multi, tw babies, tw bad language, tw smoking, tw vents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-30
Updated: 2015-03-30
Packaged: 2018-03-20 11:13:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3648225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki is having a bad day. Will anything cheer him up?</p><p>Contains boy-kissing. Don't Like Don't Read.</p><p>Please R&R!!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Artolatry

**Author's Note:**

  * For [saiditallbefore](https://archiveofourown.org/users/saiditallbefore/gifts).



Darcy walked in and was immediately stabbed by Loki.

"NO ONE ELSE UNDERSTANDS MY PAIN!!" he cried, weeping over her body. "That's why you have to die!! Anyone close to me might get hurt so I have to push them away first!!!!"

"It's... okay..." Darcy cried, with all of her remaining strength. "I... know... it... was..... really.. Thor.... 's.... fault......"

"I WILL AVENGER YOU," LOKI cried as Darcy died in his arms. It was beautiful and tragic.

xxoooooxxxooooooxxxxxooxxx

xxxxxxxxxxooooooxxooxxxxxx

_Meanwhile, at Avengers Tower..._

"I have grown tired of the vents," Clint says, smoking a french cigarette. 

"We must conduct our affair in the shadows, where only the truly perceptive will see us," Coulson replies. 

"Say something bland and authoritative," Clint demanded, staring at his suit-clad body with lust.

"Only if you say something witty in response," Coulson responded, fondling his arrows.

"Ahh," Clint moaned.

The ceiling caved in, and Loki landed with an evil cackle.

"I will destroy you all!" he insisted.

"Loki!" Coulson called. "We have your daughter!"

"What did you say, foolish mortal?"

"Darcy secretly gave birth before she died so tragically. Put down your weapon, and we might let you see her."

"... I accept," Loki lied. Clint brought out his daughter, cradling her in his arms like something small and precious and fragile. Like a baby.

Loki was so moved by the sight of the tiny dainty life being held in those strong, muscular arms that he immediately broke down in tears.

"I'm so sorry for everything!" he cried.

"Yeah, okay," Clint chuckled, and handed over the miniature treasurable biped he held in his arms.

"I believe you are truly sorry. I forgive you," Coulson intoned.

Loki handed his Lilliputian flimsy tadpole to Coulson. "Actually, I want the archer."

Clint and Coulson looked at each other. "Yeah, okay," Clint laughed, and kissed Loki really hard with tongues. Coulson joined in, trying not to drop the pee-wee pretentious bambino.

It was super hot. They lived happily ever after in a perfectly balanced menge a trio, but Loki never forgot Darcy's tragic sacrifice and named his daughter Hollie in her honor, because she was prickly.

_The End.... or is it?_


End file.
